Every day you are under the pressure of numerous stress factors. You have to go to work, you have to feed the baby, you have to be patient with the baby, you have to walk the dog, you have to buy flowers to your wife because you forgot to feed the baby for the second timeÖ You are always under pressure because you want to succeed in your life, your career and in the bedroom. But how are you going to do all that without exploding?
Your life is a continual fight for balance and you want at least once to have a profit, whether it is about money profit, a well deserved holiday or some moments of peace before your next business meeting. You can close your eyes, shut up and move on. Or you can end up in a traffic jam, with a gun next to you, waiting for the first unbearable person to curse you for not moving faster. I am sure that none of these variants pleases you. When stress manifests through violence, it means that you have gone too far. You should come back down to earth. Look for warning signs, solve problems before the situation degenerates and live how you like it. And this means that you should live relaxed.
You know that men donít cry
Maybe the defeated football players and French men are allowed to drain tears from their eyes, but from the rest of us stoicism is expected (and demanded). But is this correct? Men donít want to commit a mistake for fear they wouldnít be considered males anymore. A man will never go to a bar to talk with his friends about the problems he has with his wife:"Mary doesnít understand me at all, and this affects my sexual performances". But maybe we should do this. Statistics say that most suicidal persons are men. And a very important factor is that men donít recognize and donít treat their depressions. Men arenít allowed to cry.
If you force to restrain your emotions, you may become extremely stressed out. It can be about problems in your couple, major changes of your lifestyle or losing a loved being, even if it is a dog.
Among the symptoms you may find insomnia, tiredness, apathy, ulcers, the feeling of uselessness, arterial tension, the increase and the decrease of the appetite, the wish to run from responsibilities, the depression and the tendency to commit suicide.
Men should express their feelings about the difficulties they have in the daily life. If they canít do this by themselves, visits to a psychologist are required, or even the administration of certain drugs. The first step is to talk about this with your wife or your girlfriend. In the same connection, specialists discovered that men release their frustrations easier if they write about them. You can keep a diary (maybe even a private blog), to identify easily what bothers you. Even if the texts will remain far from the publicís eyes, it would be better for your partner to read them. You will show her that you trust her and that you want to communicate what you feel and what you believe.
You want to be the best
The cinema heroes, such as Matthew McConaughey or George Clooney beat the bad guys, using their PhDs to defeat entire armies and to umask terrorist plots. Even if it is hard to believe that this will happen in reality, men use these "schemes" to define their masculinity. Besides, men interract in a certain way. We want to prove all the time that through our veins flows the largest amount of testosterone. This shows that we havenít evoved very much compared with our hairy ancestors who lived in the trees. Men are egocentric creatures who feel the need to show that they are the best, especially if they possess type A personalities. In reality it is very stressful to do this permanently.
A lot of men want to be alpha males and are capable of anything to prove this. Besides, most men donít want to be perceived as being gay. It appears that the feminist movement of the last decades has contributed to the losing of menís identity.
These subjects drink more than the others, drive with a high speed, have a lot of partners and brag about all these things. 82% of the subjects involved in car crashes with deaths are men. The risk of deadly accident, severe traumas or invalidity is higher at the masculine genre. These statistic data is tightly connected to the increased alcohol consumption, car driving at high speeds and in an irrational manner, in a word menís desire to prove their "masculinity".
You need to develop healthier habits. Activities like meditation, yoga, and tai chi increase your concentration and make you more aware of the relationship with the surrounding environment. You mustnít necessarily do something, but find at least an activity that encourages you to drive on the first traffic lane, not smoke anymore, and decrease the amount of alcohol you drink. You have nothing to prove. Live your life!
You want to look perfect
Until ten years ago, women were the only ones who carried on their shoulder the burden of the obligation to look good. Back then it was just a bizarre feminine obsession which we laughed at stroking our beards while we were opening another bottle of cold bear. The problem is that all the movies from this world have to sell their products. And that is when males came up front and convinced that it is necessary to have a well-defined bust like Ryk Neethling, an irreproachable haircut like Matt Damon and a perfect skin like Jude Law. And they also told us that ignoring these aspects will make us end up alone, in front of our TV with a rubber doll next to us.
Magazines, television and movies present men with a thick hair, width shoulders and an appearance that everyone envies. Men who get the hottest girls in the world and who receive the best parking spaces were all that we could see.
The symptoms are represented by food disorders, muscular problems due to physical effort in excess, steroids consumption which lead to aggressive behavior, liver problems and predisposition to diabetes and heart problems. If we add to this the phobia of loosing the hair which is more virulent nowadays despite the fact that over a half of Caucasian men present the risk of baldness and the proportion increases with over 10% with each decade of the life, and we have the complete idea. 30% of the men aged over 30, 40% of the men over 40 and half of the men over 50 years old already have a bald head.
After all, it is normal for people to be obsessed with their physical appearance, but this obsession should be kept under control. Try to be happy for what you are and act moderately about physical embellishment. Accept the fact that baldness is sexy. Donít find your happiness in faÁade factors such as money or the beauty of your body. Donít concentrate only on your pack, because a manís soul is more important than that. And try not to fall in the net of those who want you to spend more and more money on their products.
You are a director in your company (and you are only 29 years old)
In a materialistic world, full of materialistic women, nobody can blame a man who tries to show how much he is worth through his success in his career and a fat account in the bank. Men have evolved in such a way that they are forced to present their possessions in order to attract a partner. This thing is a biological imperative. But this doesnít mean that it is normal. Men gain self esteem through their success in the business, this representing the ideal medium to prove you are better than the rest. The Western society gives a lot of credit to those who work hard.
So, all sound good until now, but the stress caused by the work place is a professional disease often seen. In the USA it comes second after back pain. Millions of employees from the entire world suffer from anxiety and from depression. Moreover, they avoid asking the advice of a specialist because the existence of a mental disease is synonymous with the recognition of the fact that you canít face the high rhythm at the office.
Communication problems with your collegues, your unbearable bosses, the tasks that suffocate you (or the lack of activity), unreasonable deadlines, the lack of motivation, bad working conditions, the othersí underratings, the insecurity at your work place and the perspective of unemployment can put a man on the embers.
The symptoms are exhaustion, depression, heart attack, anxiety, increased arterial blood flow, insomnia and problems in the relationship. And the worst thing is that personality determines the risk of cardiovascular stroke. The way in which a man approaches the daily life has a bigger influence in this sense than obesity, smoking, or the increased amount of cholesterol. The type A personalities are more likely to go through these problems, whether they have or not a healthy lifestyle. Ambition can be fatal, and this should be taken literally.
The solution is what is called "the business cult". When we complain about burdens, we really brag. The fact that we are busy makes us fell very important. You have to look at the tasks from your work in a realistic way. Make a list of those you cannot influence. You have to find out if the firm you work for is going to go bankrupt if you donít present your report on time. You have to ask help of those who are willing to give it to you; you have to respect the normal schedule and your breaks and you have to take all the days off you have. If you feel aggressed, take a day off or a prolonged weekend. If it is possible, make a flexible program, to avoid traffic jams and to be able to take care of your family more.
You feel lonely
A lot of researches have proved the fact that men who are involved in a happy relationship have a very small risk of a cardiovascular disease. This tells a lot. Then, why are you still alone? Men always confront the eternal dilemma: freedom or involvement in a relationship on a long term? There is no problem if you choose to be a bachelor for the rest of your life, but you should wonder what you are going to do five years from now. Is it going to be fun when you are old to wonder from bar to bar?
The fact that you concentrate exclusively on your career, the divorce rate; the relatively high standards for choosing a partner these are all stress releasers. Moreover if your parents have a marriage full of conflicts, you may not have too much confidence in the possibility of getting happiness from a long term relationship.
Depression, excessive behaviors (such as getting drunk and sleeping at your neighbors), loneliness, dependence on your friends, avoidance of social situations, these are just a few of the side-effects of prolonged loneliness.
If you are satisfied with yourself, it means that you can make a difference between ďlonelyĒ and ďsolitaryĒ. Subscribe to a matrimonial service or join a club for people with common interests like yours. If you are divorced, spend more time with your children. You may also go to parents meetings at their school. You have the chance to meet a single mother there.
You look in the mirror
You know very well how things are. Have you seen that fat 47 years old guy with a leather jacket and a Harley? What about the other one who was driving a convertible Mustang and who had his arm around his latest conquest who has just turned 21?
There is only one stress releaser in this case, and that is the fact that you are a man with the age between 40 and 50.
You have a sudden desire to be free, to get rid of your wife and the job you have had for so long, even if just a couple of months before you were happy. You buy a collection car, you start diving or you have an affair with another woman.
You have to admit the fact that this is happening. You got to your second youth. After half of your life in which you have tried to be different, you have to spend the other half trying to fit in the society.